“I’m weak, that’s why I wanted to grow stronger”
Those words always rang in my mind every day of my life.
Highschool are probably still one of the most shaky times of my life in terms of my identity and belief. It’s also the first time where I’d become more aware about current political climate and various issues in the world, particularly surrounding the Islamic world, where I was previously ignorant of it.
To this day, I still think what a blissful ignorant that was. All of the revelation became too much for my poor mind, which resulted in me trying the best I can to be always in the dark regarding discussion on Islamic politics.
One of my former classmate however, whom I shall only refer to on this post as R, embrace that revelation. R was intelligent, driven, sociable and probably one-of-the kind person that I’ve ever met in my life. Much like the superhumans in Conrevo, he’s passionate to change world. At the same time however, he also held belief that, in my mind, both naive and extreme which always makes me uneasy. I never tried to voice my disagreement whenever he spouted his belief, which to my annoyance he often does whenever opportunity present itself, because I can’t ever get the correct words right and frankly, I’m too cowardly.
Nonetheless, his passion are undeniable. He even managed to inspire many of my own friends to agree with him. Despite my disagreement of his view, being socially inept for most of the time, I’m always jealous over his boldness and his ability to influence other people around him, often for positive effect. And so, despite my unwillingness to engage in discussion, my jealousy did became my drive to learn more and think critically about narrative, fiction or otherwise, which helped me to learn more about human condition, and to some extension, how various system came to be. I wanted to be able to voice my concern about R’s belief or anyone else sharing his belief and discuss it with them.
I wanted to grow stronger.